Taka's Weekly Topics 2
Jan. 17, 2000
The following is an e- mail from Amazon. com. which I found in my box recently. What do you think about your life? Is it a high-quality life or not? What is a high-quality life? Feel free to write your opinion on the Bulletin Board below.
There are some days when I'm feeling pulled in 10 different directions at once and I laugh at the irony of having written a book called "Take Time for Your Life." Little did I know that writing this book would mean living with the voice of conscience 24 hours a day. And it's not just me. Whether it's a reader sending an e-mail, an audience member asking a question, or a journalist writing a story, everyone wants to know: "Do you have time for *your* life? Well, the honest answer is, usually.
Most of the time I do practice what I teach. I put my self-care at the top of my to-do list. I'm clear about my priorities and I graciously decline requests that pull me away from what matters. I protect my energy and I'm quick to eliminate anything that drains me. And I surround myself with great people who challenge me to be my best. But, there are days when I'm rushing to catch an airplane or scrambling to meet a deadline that my self- care goes right out the window.
And that's one of the reasons I wrote "Take Time for Your
Life." As I reviewed several years' worth of journals, a
theme emerged. I never seemed to be able to make time for the
things that mattered most to me. For years I believed that if
I could just learn to manage my time more efficiently I'd be able
to handle it all. It wasn't until I hired my first personal coach
that I realized it wasn't about time management at all--it was
about self-management. The other reason I wrote "Take Time
for Your Life" is because "I have no time for my life"
was the most common complaint I'd hear from clients who hired
me as a personal
coach to help them create more balanced lives. Although they'd
say their family or their health was a top priority, their schedules
reflected something very different.
The beginning of the new millennium is a perfect time to rethink how you're living your life. To help, I'd like to share some of the lessons I've learned from writing and speaking about my book. So, as you start your New Year, forget the resolutions, nix the goals and lists, and remember the following instead:
The "in-box of life" never empties. Our fast-paced, adrenaline-based culture will trap you into believing that you'll finally be able to relax once you make that one last phone call, finish one final project, or respond to one last e-mail. But, if you keep waiting for your to-do list to be completed, you'll miss your life. Stop right now and schedule time for your life! Put it in your weekly calendar (in ink!) and hold this time as sacred. When someone calls to make plans during that time (and they will), simply smile and tell them you're unavailable.
Guilt is good. When you start saying no to those things that you'd really rather not do (like helping a friend move for the second time, or taking on the extra project at work that will keep you up at night), you'll most likely feel some guilt. That's good. Let guilt be a sign that you're on the right track. Look for opportunities to practice saying no. After all, you can't take time for your life without learning to disappoint others first.
Play by new rules. As technology continues to bombard us with information and we become slaves to other people's agendas, it will be more important than ever to set limits. Protect your peace of mind. Turn the ringer off on the phone. Check your e-mail or voicemail only once or twice a day. Tell people that you'll respond to calls and e-mails within a week instead of the politically correct 24-hour period. Remember, this is your life we're talking about!
Stop juggling and start living! It's time to let a few balls drop. Here are some of the balls I'd recommend you let go of first: trying to please everyone; trying to be a star at the expense of your life; trying to do everything perfectly; and, trying to do *everything.* Kiss your "good girl" or "good boy" role goodbye--it will rob you of your life!
Finally, the biggest lesson I've learned from writing "Take Time for Your Life" and practicing its steps is that a high-quality life has more to do with what you *remove* from your life than what you add to it. So, instead of looking at what you'd like to add to your life in the New Year, focus on clearing out the old. Clear out the clutter, let go of the obligations that make you feel resentful, and challenge the people who drain your energy to stop. Trust me, as you dedicate the next year to your self-care, you'll be a much better person to be around.
And if you'd like some support, feel free to join thousands of others who are a part of my "Life Makeover for the Year 2000" project by visiting my Web site at www.cherylrichardson.com. Happy New Year!